11 Completely Ludicrous Things That Mom's Have Said To Me.

21.7.07


11 Completely Ludicrous Things That Mom's Have Said To Me.

1. "I spank my 6 month old." - abuse
2. "When you spank you're supposed to ‘break’ the child." - wrong
3. "He got the spanking of a lifetime." - I can't imagine next time.
4. "I sent my toddlers to bed without lunch."
5. "I spanked over 10x in one hour before."
6. "He needed a spanking because my child touched their bagel and got sticky, because I wanted him to eat a bite while I was holding it.” - kids get messy. They don't start developing complete fine motor skills till 3 and up. All kids develop at different ages. Don't expect them to act older than they are.
7. "Doing any other type of discipline other than spanking takes too much time, spanking is quicker." - God's word is clear that there ARE many forms of correction. Try a different one some time.
8. "I don’t like getting parenting advice from my family because they are MY kids and I know what’s best." - See what God's word says about that.
9. "My husband wants me to discipline the way he does because he thinks my children will be brats." - no comment
10. "My husband is just starting to like his kid." - no comment
11. "When I got home from being in town all day 'my child' soooo got spanked." - I can't imagine next time


There are many Mom's out there that need love and support from others and a lot of mom's who are children themselves.....and a lot of mom's really do need to be more educated and steered away from some bad advice and ideas that they may have been given. The mom's who have said these comments. Being a mother of a boy who is two, my heart for children has just grown by leaps and bounds and wish all children in broken homes could experience the love and protection that a parent is supposed to give. I know a lot of mom's have a lot of things to deal with and a home life we may know nothing about so discipline ideas and opinions vary from person to person. I don't want to judge them as I am sure not everyone would 100% completely agree with my methods of parenting. Places where I am more lenient some may be more strict, and some areas where I am more strict, some may be more lenient. But when I hear crazy things some mom's say it sometimes makes me SO FRUSTRATED! All human beings can and will continue to express frustration. I would rather talk about it than let it fester for years and years. In these situations it is normal for varying opinions. But to the abusive mom's mentioned above I wish there was something I could do for those children.

12 comments:

HeiressChild said...

hi shanilie, i had posted earlier and i didn't think you were harsh or un-Christian in your attitude or words at all. i understand what you're saying though, and why you felt the need to change your post. your heart has to be your guide. you've made some very valid points, some of which i had said earlier, so i won't repeat my comments, but this is a good article and will help all of us.

i love this picture of jacob. is he playing hide and seek? *lol*

Summer said...

Hi Shanilie,

I read your post earlier and i don't think you think you were harsh at all. How could a mother spank a 6 month old? that is just wrong. I don't think a six month could do anything wrong to get a spanking.

P.S. Don't worry too much about what you said. It's your blog and your point of view.

That Chick Over There said...

My mom spanked me for the first time when I was 18 months old.

I've never spanked my kids.

I just think there are better ways.

connie said...

Hi Shanilie! Sorry for the absence in commenting the last few days. We've had rainy weather here & even though I have DSL, it affected it somewhat & I've tried leaving a comment the last few days & then would lose my connection & the comment would "vanish into thin air"! I wanted to comment while I can ;)

This is a great post. I don't think there will ever be 100% equal views on discipline but I do think you have to do what you feel is right for you & your child(ren).
I have spanked Justin before BUT, only after exhausting MANY other methods first. But, let me point out that it's not very often that I do spank him. My mom used to use a belt on me as a child & I WILL NOT use a belt~when I do spank Justin, I use my hand & only spank his bottom.

Bobby & I have SEVERAL disagreements regarding discipline. He always points out that he's "Old School" & was brought up that way. Anytime Justin does something wrong, Bobby immediately grabs his belt & while I agree that we do have to discipline our children, I don't think you always have to use the belt.

I don't agree w/spanking young children (infants & toddlers). They are learning to live in this world & they have to learn what's right & what's wrong~w/their parent's help.

I do believe though that discipline is something you have to pray about & seek wisdom from God. There's a bible verse that I remember hearing constantly as I was growing up~"Spare the rod, spoil the child". But in this day & time, I believe some parents go overboard w/discipline.

I do pray for abused children myself because it's such a sad thought that children have to experience abuse.

Again, great post Shanilie :) (((Hugs)))

connie said...

Me again!! Sorry~you'd think after the "book" I wrote above, I wouldn't have anything else to say, lol!

I also meant to say that's such a cute pic of Jacob!! He's such a cutie pie!! Great pic :)

Rebekah said...

I agree, the pic of Jacob is so adorable, he's growing up fast! what a gorgeous kid you have!

I agree that many moms go wrong with discipline, as do fathers, we are human, we will make mistakes. But the standard that we are to hold ourselves to is not whether or not we think we are doing right or wrong. our opinions are worthless when they stand in opposition to Gods law. who are we to think we know better than the creator of the universe? and if anyone is going to call themselves a follower of Christ (a Christian) we need to learn and obey His laws. and one very clear one is on the method of parenting, with spanking. I don't enjoy spanking my kids, it is something that parents have come away from in the past 30 years. (and has there been positive change to follow ? feel any safer than you would have 35 years ago?) who cares what I have to say- what does God?
PROV 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes

PROV 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

PROV 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
PROV 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
we need to be concerned not for what we feel, think, or believe to be right, or the "nice" thing to do, we need to know God's truth. these are not my own words, but words straight from the Bible.
NOW.
this is not to say that the parents you are describing are right. there are PLENTY of other ways to discipline a child AS well as do what God has called us as parents to do for our children- lead them in the way of everlasting. I think that more people need to speak up about things just like this, so I'm glad that you have done a post on it, parenting is the most important task any of us will ever have, period. I hope that we will all seek the truth, and LOVE our children enough to do the right things for them. spankings are not to be beatings, they are not ever to vent our own anger or frustration, they are to bring CORRECTION. I have a long way to go with my own journey as a parent, I am not even close to knowing what a perfect parent looks like... but the more I study the Bible on this the better parent I will become.
If any are offended, please search your own hearts to see where you stand- does God have the final say in your life or do you?

Shanilie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shanilie said...

Wow, what an adventure these last three days have been. I was going to save this for a seperate post for tomorrow but decided I would just make a really long comment here and start a fresh new post another time.

I don’t usually post about touchy subjects, and who knew that writing a few of the TERRIBLE comments I have heard from Mom’s would make such a spark. I don’t believe it is a sin to express frustration and disagreement and will probably have rants again in the future. What is a blog if not to get encouragement, and an understanding ear. I don’t believe spanking is always a sin, and if you chose another method of correction you are not going against God’s laws and I don’t believe I was displaying an un-Christian attitude as was told to me. I guess people are not going to agree 100% of the time. There are situations where mom's spank that I definitely wouldn't necessairly agree with, but I am not going against God's laws, I am going against the person's actions that are wrong. And in the cases mentioned above, they are wrong. And on a side note, spanking a child under the age of 2 IS ILLIGAL! God also says we are supposed to obey the laws of our time.

HeiressChild said...

wow, this topic has generated a lot of comments. i love a good conversation, so here goes...

the Bible says, "wisdom is the principle thing; therefore, get wisdom, but in all of your getting, get understanding."

i think sometimes we take God's Word and run with it in our own understanding and interpretation, insteading of getting God's understanding. there's a big difference.

God does chasten those who He loves; the Bible tells us that. but we have to look at the form of chastening He gives us, and He doesn't beat us over the head. He's gentle and loving in the way He does things, even in "chastisements."

we have to search the scriptures to see what they're really saying. for instance, when the word "beating" is used in accordance with disciplining a child, it doesn't mean to literally "beat" them like we're having a fight.

i agree that babies and toddlers don't need spankings. they're too young to even understand, and they're acting just like what they are--little children. as they get older, a child's hand or bottom can be tapped, and that's usually sufficient because their feelings are more hurt than anything.

my parents never tried "time outs." who knows? they may have worked. there are parents who used cords, tree branches, threw shoes, etc., but that doesn't mean that was a correct form of discipline.

i know people say, well, it worked for us, but look at crime (abuse, rapes, murders, etc.) in the streets, and is that a carry-over from beatings with belts (where whelps are left), tree branches, etc?

i'm not telling anyone how to raise their children, but sometimes parents don't know what's best because many act out of their own frustrations, emotions, etc.

there are books, tapes, videos, t.v. programs, counseling, www.clubmom.com -- all kinds of tools to aid in rearing children these days, and the same way we go to a recipe book to look for something we want to cook, but don't know how, or what ingredients to use, we, as parents, have to use tools available to us. it's nothing wrong with getting help or advice from another parent, or a book. sometimes the physical ramifications affect children emotionally and mentally as well.

i have grandchildren now, and i think i'm a better grandparent than i was a parent because i've learned so much wisdom as i've gotten older. i think my children are doing a good job with their children. most times with them, discipline is done thru talking and time outs, and that seems to work well. however, i do know every child is different, and parents have to consider the children's temperament and behavior also.

excellent topic shanilie. i'm glad you re-posted it.

Rebekah said...

me again. I agree with you on the fact that you should be able to express your own views on things on your own blog. I even agree with you on the fact that many spankings are administered very wrongly, in sin, and are more detrimental than anything to the children that are on the receiving end. However, I also believe that a child can be more lastingly damaged by leaving him to his own ways with no correction.
"train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" is not only an encouragement to us parents to do what is right for our children- it is also a warning! If our children are left to their own selfish and sinful ways (and yes, children are born sinful and in need of a savior) they will NEVER change. that's scary. we have a huge responsibility to our children. Their souls lay in the balance!
I disagree with you on your last point- God calls us to comply with authority WHEN IT IS NOT IN OPPOSITION TO HIS LAW.
Again, thanks for this blog, you have gotten me thinking, as well as a number of others that are just as addicted to your blog as I am, I see.
I don't know if you were talking about my comment when you said someone thought you had an unchristian attitude, but I thought I'd set the record straight. I wasn't speaking of you as having a wrong attitude, just adding my view of the subject. And if there is something in the word of God that has been written more than once- we had better pay heed. there is so much in the bible when it comes to child rearing, and we have strayed so far from it- our whole society! My desire is for us to put God at the center of our lives as he should be, and be sensitive to His leading. Everything else will fall into place. spanking vs not spanking- it won't be a deal if God is our all. He will lead his children in the way of understanding! (and not everyones understanding will be the same as mine- and thats SO fine.) But there will always be two sides to an argument, and iron sharpens iron- and how can that happen without a little sparing back and forth??? :)

HeiressChild said...

also, i wanted to add "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he'll not depart from it" means teaching our children God's Word and His ways (love, respect, honor, etc.). i don't even think that's referring to spanking a child. it's teaching them. i think we can speak to our children and tell them no, or not to do a certain thing. it's doesn't always mean hitting. we have to have a personal relationship with God, being led by His Spirit. He'll lead and guide us in rearing and disciplining our children the same as other areas of our life, if we allow Him to.

Shanilie said...

Sylvia: Thank you so much for all of your comments on this post. I really appreciate it! Seeds are being planted in the hearts of our readers and that is the best we can ask for!

Bek: I emailed you :) I liked your 'sparing back and forth' analogy.

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